By VinothChandar
Suffering is purely your choice
You know there comes many occasions in life where you find that your confidence is hit hard. Sometimes you conquer life's challenges, sometimes you get overwhelmed and sometimes you get compromised. But one thing is always certain that "Nobody can hurt you without your consent." Write this line on your forehead. The problem is not important but the impact it had on you is more important. In life pain is unavoidable but suffering is optional. Suffering is purely your choice, and whether you choose to spring back back or suffer is entirely your choice.
There can be numerous reasons that your self-confidence is hurt. You may have had a bad marriage and now are heading for a divorce. You were not chosen for your college's cricket team; you may have been ignored. There's definitely a lot of pain involved in any of these situations. But there is no completion for you to suffer. You must come up and decide to get back your confidence.
The following ways would help you do just that.
Look at the dazzling side of your life
If you have been ignored, it would be okay to feel bad about it for a day or two but not more than that. Losing a job is a dreadful thing, but it is not the end of the world. Perhaps it might be a blessing in disguise. Maybe you have got some time for evaluation of your life. Get aware of where you are going. Look at your likes and hobbies which you could not extend because of pressures of your job. Perhaps this is a chance to start once again and live your life a totally different way which is more in sync with your abilities and talent. A divorce may cause great pain but it is also true that you weren't happy and joyful in your marriage. Now you have a chance to rebuild your life the way you want it to be.
Never compare yourself with other people
In adversities we always question God - "Oh, God, why me?" Then you forget that God also gave you a lot of rewards as well. Then you never ask God -"Oh God, why you reward me?" Anyway, this is just human nature. We complain and remember God when we are in difficulty otherwise we are too busy with ourselves. We should stop looking at other people who seem too happy and comfortable to us from a distance. We should also stop comparing their comfort with our suffering. Because this will only annoy you further. Focus on yourself and make every effort you can make to rise up whenever you are feeling down. Self-pity can become addictive and destroy lives. Instead of pampering self-pity take control of your life and take accountability for your actions, learn from your mistakes and try your best to make a fresh start. Don’t get depressed when you hear a "NO". A "NO" is something which even greats like Edison and Ford, too, had to face. Each "NO" actually takes you closer to a "YES." Do you know that Edison conducted more than a thousand failed experiments before he actually made an electric bulb!
Be flexible
It is natural that shadows are caused when we stand in the path of sunshine. In our lives also we cause a lot of shadows by standing in the way of our own joy. In today's world, it is important to be flexible. A lot of people will look for a job for months. But still they may reject work coming their way simply because they are not prepared to adapt to some new job requirements. Many times it is wise to be a little flexible and adapt ourselves to new job demands. It is not always possible to look exactly for what we lost.