Five Common Ways to Escape the Pain of Low Self-Esteem and Poor Self-Confidence

By SashaW
 

Perhaps all of you know well that people live their whole lives without getting to the source of what initially caused their feelings of near to the ground self-esteem.  Because they are unconscious of how they can cure their aching and hurtful past and reframe the state of affairs that initially resulted in interpretations of being unworthy, unlovable, or incomplete in some way. Most people instead often resort to finding ways to sidetrack themselves from the obnoxious sensations that accompany feeling inferior. Instead of effectively silencing the pesky voice of past hurts, they seek out distractions to help them momentarily forget about their lacking self-confidence and deficient self-image.

In this article you will find five more common ways to reduce the ache of low self-esteem and poor self-confidence involve intense attention to food, work, sex, sports and shopping. Like all addictions, they help to sidetrack from but do not resolve the fundamental problem and so one is still weighed down by feelings that will repeatedly require greater efforts from which to hide.

Escape no 1: Over-Eating

Fascination with food is habitually a common escape from feelings of un-worthiness. Eating can provide both as a diversion and a way to make ourselves feel better for the time being. We often seek the “emotional connection” from food that we are lacking in close, intimate relationships. Often, food is associated in our minds to joyful times with family or friends. Perhaps we experienced delicious food as rewards from our parents or authority figures for academic or sports accomplishments. For many, food has become identical with love, affection and acceptance. And so in times of stress, fear or isolation, many turn to foodstuff to fill an empty space that only love and self fulfillment can satisfy.

Habitual overeating also causes in being out of shape, overweight. Then these people generally look unattractive in the model of Western or you can say modern-day culture. The more one eats as a alternative for missing love and intimacy with others, the more overweight he or she is likely to become. This also reinforces the feeling that the heavier the person, the less he fits in and then the lower his self-esteem and self-confidence crash down. If the feeling of loneliness is deeper and not fitting in that result then he is likely to try to find comfort in food particularly the high fat, high carbohydrate, high comfort variety. A vicious cycle is thus set in motion ensuring more weight gain which ultimately results in lower self-esteem.

Escape no 2: Workaholism

In our society, work is usually an acceptable means of diverting and distorting our attention. By doing hard work, we try to busy ourselves to the extent that we lack the free time needed to engage in our sorrows. Those who work extremely are often too tired to worry about a missing public or social life or the hunt of fun pastimes that they sometimes believe they do not deserve to experience. Work provides rewards such as money, appreciation, and a feeling of achievement, all of which help to compensate for feelings of disappointment in other areas of life.

A commitment to work is not bad. In fact, it is quite good as just one part to a well-balanced life. However, when pursued to overload, it doesn’t allow for the honoring of other equally important essentials such as a dedication to family, friends, recreation, fun, personal and spiritual growth, etc. Too much fascination with work can badly affect health, missed opportunities and relationships for other equally valuable pursuits.

Moreover, when work is undertaken from the viewpoint that one is ‘not good enough’ in one or more aspects of their being, it can’t be fully enjoyed. Feelings of low self confidence and little self-esteem reduce one’s energy by consuming attention that could have been spent more productively in the joyful pursuit of one’s goals, rather than as a disruption from constant pessimistic self talk.

Escape no 3: Sex

Too much fascination with sex outside of a healthy and loving relationship can similarly become a means of distraction to take the focus away from self-esteem as well as self-confidence issues. Whether it’s Internet porn sites, strip clubs, or the want for recurrent casual sexual encounters, all serve as an effort to frozen the pain of loneliness. Paradoxically, the greater the passion to connect with others through pointless sexual experiences, the greater one’s sense of separation and loneliness will likely become.

Escape no: 4 Sports and Other Physical Outlets

Some people work out or do different kind of sports just to overcome feelings of loneliness, depression, boredom, or lacking self-worth. Some pump iron, play cricket, football or work out at the gym while others find their own exclusive way to redirect their focus through exercise, hobbies, or sports. Perhaps most of the people would dispute that such a distraction is a healthy way to channel energy into an activity that contributes to good physical health. However, like any obsession, when taken to the excessive for the purpose of diverting mind from issues in need of resolution, it can become detrimental means of avoiding areas in severe need of attention.

Escape no 5: Shopping

Shopping is common obsession to find balance for a low self-image. While some find momentary relief  in making themselves feel more attractive by purchasing the stylish clothes, shoes, accessories , cars, jewelries and expensive toys if their budget allows and sometimes times even if it does not! Obsessive shoppers find that the ease and comfort they hunt for in objects is typically short lived. They often deceive themselves into thinking that next new clothes, sport shoe, outfit or perfume purchase will make the difference they seek in having them feel better about themselves. Sadly, it never does. However, all too often such unnecessary spending sprees send the shopaholic deeper into debt. This leads to reinforcement or worsens the failure definition they already have and continues to weaken their self-esteem and confidence level.

There are innumerable other addictions that people try to find comfort in an effort to find meaning in life when their own sense of worth is lacking. Whether it is uncontrollable gambling, studying, clean mess in the yard, decorating the house, following religion, meditation and whatever other distraction they find attractive. Those who lack inner tranquility will never find it externally with a focus that seeks to cover up feelings of being unworthy or unlovable.