3 Ways to Reclaim Your Self-Confidence

By VinothChandar

Suffering is purely your choice
You know there comes many occasions in life where you find that your confidence is hit hard. Sometimes you conquer life's challenges, sometimes you get overwhelmed and sometimes you get compromised. But one thing is always certain that "Nobody can hurt you without your consent." Write this line on your forehead. The problem is not important but the impact it had on you is more important. In life pain is unavoidable but suffering is optional. Suffering is purely your choice, and whether you choose to spring back back or suffer is entirely your choice.
There can be numerous reasons that your self-confidence is hurt. You may have had a bad marriage and now are heading for a divorce. You were not chosen for your college's cricket team; you may have been ignored. There's definitely a lot of pain involved in any of these situations. But there is no completion for you to suffer. You must come up and decide to get back your confidence.
The following ways would help you do just that.

Look at the dazzling side of your life
If you have been ignored, it would be okay to feel bad about it for a day or two but not more than that. Losing a job is a dreadful thing, but it is not the end of the world. Perhaps it might be a blessing in disguise. Maybe you have got some time for evaluation of your life. Get aware of where you are going. Look at your likes and hobbies which you could not extend because of pressures of your job. Perhaps this is a chance to start once again and live your life a totally different way which is more in sync with your abilities and talent. A divorce may cause great pain but it is also true that you weren't happy and joyful in your marriage. Now you have a chance to rebuild your life the way you want it to be.

Never compare yourself with other people
In adversities we always question God - "Oh, God, why me?" Then you forget that God also gave you a lot of rewards as well. Then you never ask God -"Oh God, why you reward me?" Anyway, this is just human nature. We complain and remember God when we are in difficulty otherwise we are too busy with ourselves. We should stop looking at other people who seem too happy and comfortable to us from a distance. We should also stop comparing their comfort with our suffering. Because this will only annoy you further. Focus on yourself and make every effort you can make to rise up whenever you are feeling down. Self-pity can become addictive and destroy lives. Instead of pampering self-pity take control of your life and take accountability for your actions, learn from your mistakes and try your best to make a fresh start. Don’t get depressed when you hear a "NO". A "NO" is something which even greats like Edison and Ford, too, had to face. Each "NO" actually takes you closer to a "YES." Do you know that Edison conducted more than a thousand failed experiments before he actually made an electric bulb!

Be flexible
It is natural that shadows are caused when we stand in the path of sunshine. In our lives also we cause a lot of shadows by standing in the way of our own joy. In today's world, it is important to be flexible. A lot of people will look for a job for months. But still they may reject work coming their way simply because they are not prepared to adapt to some new job requirements. Many times it is wise to be a little flexible and adapt ourselves to new job demands. It is not always possible to look exactly for what we lost.

3 Superfast Ways to Manifest Money

By 401(K) 2012
 
For most of the people the words which are quick and easy don’t seem believable when it comes to manifest money.  Almost everyone has the frame of mind that if you want money it has to come with hard work.  You believe too much in hard work, don’t you?

It is general assumption that hard work is compulsory however it all depends on what kind of hard work you need to engage in to manifest money quickly and easily.

The whole theory of manifesting wealth requires a deep understanding of your relation to your physical reality as well as to yourself and your alignment with what you really want.  When you are in alignment with something just notice how you feel when you focus upon your desired thing.  Do you feel comfortable or do you feel unworthy? Do you feel joyful, happy or you feel depressed? If you feel joyful then you can be sure that you have really opened yourself up to the flow of the creative forces and your joy will pour great magnetism into you.

1. Attracting money is the not different.   Ask anyone who has been doing well in manifesting great riches will repeat this one mantra, “Do what you love and money will flow.”  This is the key. There is a deeper scientific cause for this. Just beyond the share joy of loving what you do and universe will give you rewards.  There is another reason.  When you take pleasure in what you do you move into a divine flow that empowers your intention.
2. The second way to attracting money even faster is to remove fear from the equation of your aspiration and move into boldness.  Many times people are hesitant of what they want.  When you are sure of your desires your mental images will also be clear. Then you send a clear message to universe. Then your desires can manifest very easily.
3. The third step is the skill to increase magnetism of your intention so that what you want magnetize to you.  This is the true essence of manifesting.  The more magnetic you can be the more alignment there is between you and what you desire.  The secret to manifesting is in the right techniques.  Manifesting is all about system.  You should just apply the right technique to attract the wealth. Just knowing is not enough, you must know how to apply it in a right way.

21 quick and no-nonsense methods to boost your confidence

By AlicePopkorn

21 quick and practical methods to boost your confidence to great level which you may find very interesting:

1. Don’t beat yourself up about the past mistakes. Past is gone, it’s never coming back. Instead learn from it for next time. Learn from the past and just move on with the new lesson.
2. Are you prepared for different situations? Do you believe that you are organized and equipped as much as necessary to meet any challenge that may show up in your life unexpectedly? Are you prepared for meetings, seminars, presentations, financial issues, public speaking, and job interviews? If not, get to it right now.
3. Buy yourself some new stylish clothes, get your hair done in a different way, and treat yourself to something new. It will make you feel better and will boost your confidence to a great level. Always keep changing your style. Every time you change your style you will feel new and afresh.
4. Think about someone who is confident and copy there style. You can act, talk and walk like them. You can find lots of celebrities and leaders on TV. Choose your favorite ones and try to copy their characteristics and behavior. If it works for them; it will also work for you.
5. Smile when you walk down the street, when you meet people and generally be happier even if you’re not feeling that way. Smile sends signal to your mind that you are happy in general for no cause.
6. Improve your weaknesses. Know and be grateful for what these are and put a plan in place to improve them over time.
7. Play to your strengths. Find out what you are superior at and expose yourself to these opportunities because you’re good at it, you’ll enjoy it and have more confidence.
8. Always be positive. Find out the “I can do” side of things and focus on that side more than the “I can’t do” side. Realize that you’ve already accomplished alot in your life and believe that you will achieve lots more in the future.
9. Whenever you feel a negative thought coming, STOP, rephrase the thought, give it a new meaning and then move on with new perspective. 
10. Always be in charge of your thought. If you’re thinking negative thoughts, then these thoughts will act as speed breakers in your own progress. Ask empowering questions to be more positive.
11. Learn how to say no to people whenever you really want to say no. Don’t be afraid of saying no. Saying no to all unwanted demands is a shortcut to boost your confidence.
12. Do you allow your mind to let the words of others affect you? Do you always think mind what people think about you? This is very important to realize that no one can make you feel inferior without your consent. It’s not what they say to you that’s the problem it’s what you say to yourself is the problem.
13. At the end of each day list your accomplishments, results and successes throughout that day. It will make you feel better and also reinforce you mind to the good feeling of success and confidence.
14. Every morning when you’re in the shower, visualize in your head the events in the day as if they have already happened and they were a success. Visualize all of the meetings that you had, the people you talked to, the results you had. Visualize success and confidence and it is the easiest way to become successful.
15. Always be thankful. Find out what you have to be grateful for in your life right now. Who do you love? Do you have family? Do you have home, food, cloths? Do you have friends? Feel grateful for having all this.
16. Find out the words that you commonly use on a regular basis when you feel down or upset. Have you ever noticed that most people use different words to mean the same thing and depending upon the intensity of the word it will have an effect on your confidence. For example instead of saying “I’m enraged about this” say, “I’m a little annoyed “and it will have a different effect on your mind.. Make a alternate list for the words that you use. These new words will be substitute for old words which create more intensity or negative impact. Just make sure that they are lower in intensity and then use them often. You’ll be surprised with the results.
17. Emotion is created by motion. Make sure you move around constantly. Motion creates energy and gets the blood pumping around you body. If you move constantly then you feel better and more confident. That’s the reason you feel good after a long walk or running or after a good workout.
18. Learn to show off. Always brag about yourself. Chatter about your achievements and successes. It will help you to access a resourceful state of mind. It works like affirmations. It’s like self hypnosis.
19. Try to improve your body language. The way that you move your body has immense impact on your own confidence levels. Move your body energetically and always walk with your head up, shoulders back. Assume that you’ve got somewhere very important to go. Feeling low in confidence? Change your body language and intently you will feel confidence.
20. Remember YOLO!!! You Only Live Once. If any time that you are feeling down just ask yourself this question: in 10 or 20 years time – will what I am worrying about really matter? And this question will instantly alter your mood.
21. And finally – realize that life is meaningless and empty. You can define it in any way you wish. You can literally paint your life in your own colors. Give it a positive meaning and it will become positive.

25 Best Tips for Good Night's Sleep

By RelaxingMusic

Getting a good night's sleep very essential for good health and it also helps us to become more happier, more creative and more dynamic so here's some tips to help you get a good night's sleep: 

1. Avoid taking exercise in the evening – exercise early in the day to promote restful sleep
2. Only use the bed for sleeping and sex
3. Go to bed at the same time each night so that you set a habit
4. Stop smoking because nicotine is a stimulant and so can make it difficult to get to sleep and stay asleep
5. Try using affirmations, such as: “I let go of the day, and enjoy restful, peaceful sleep” repeated several times while you get ready for sleep
6. Avoid drinking tea or coffee late at night
7. Make use of dimmers on your light switches, and dim the lights in the hours before you go to bed to imitate the change from daylight to night time. It sends the signals to your unconscious mind to sleep.
8. 8. If you can’t get to sleep after a while, get up keeping the lights low and do something boring until you feel sleepy. For example read a boring book until your eyes feel tired and you automatically sleep.
9. Alcohol may help you get to sleep, but you are more likely to wake during the night feeling thirsty and needing to go to the bathroom. It may also increase acidity. You will feel like your chest is burning.
10. Breath in a relaxed way: breathe slowly and deeply focusing on your abdomen rather than your chest
11. Get your allergies checked out, predominantly if you wake longing particular food in the middle of the night
12. Avoid paying bills and similar jobs just before sleep because calculations will go on even in your sleep and it will make you difficult to fall asleep.
13. Put the essential oils lavender and clary sage on your pillow and inhale their soothing vapors as you sleep.
14. Have you ever tried herbal tea? Chamomile, passion flower, lavender flowers or valerian are good, or take herbal supplement such as scullcap or valerian
15. Try some flower remedies - there are several types. In the Bach flower remedies you might like to try ‘vervain’ if you find it difficult to switch off from the day; ‘holly’ if anger and resentment keep you awake; ‘white chestnut’ for persistent unwanted thoughts; ‘aspen’ if you wake because of nightmares
16. Many alternative and complementary therapists have success with people with sleep disorders. Find a local therapist and ask them if they have experience in this field and if they can help you.
17. If you suffer with hot flushes/flashes, try some natural support for your endocrine system at this time. I personally recommend Neways wild yam and chaste berry cream
18. Try holding your frontal eminences the bumps on your forehead, about half way between your eyebrows and hairline if you are awake because of stress
19. Sleep problems can be a sign of an underlying medical condition like thyroid problems or depression. So it will be better to get this checked out with a suitably qualified health professional
20. Try taking supplements – magnesium and calcium can work well
21. Do at least 20 minutes meditation everyday. It helps you to clear your mind from unwanted thoughts and negative emotions.
22. Do exercise regularly. You can join a gym or go for long walks or running or jogging. Your body should be tired so that you can go into sleep effortlessly.
23. Yoga and pranayam helps you to sleep well.
24. Watch some comedy TV show before you go to sleep. It will also help you to relax your worries and put you into deep sleep
25. Call your friends or anyone you love and talk to them for 10 minutes. You will feel good but do not talk more than 5-10 minutes.

Five Common Ways to Escape the Pain of Low Self-Esteem and Poor Self-Confidence

By SashaW
 

Perhaps all of you know well that people live their whole lives without getting to the source of what initially caused their feelings of near to the ground self-esteem.  Because they are unconscious of how they can cure their aching and hurtful past and reframe the state of affairs that initially resulted in interpretations of being unworthy, unlovable, or incomplete in some way. Most people instead often resort to finding ways to sidetrack themselves from the obnoxious sensations that accompany feeling inferior. Instead of effectively silencing the pesky voice of past hurts, they seek out distractions to help them momentarily forget about their lacking self-confidence and deficient self-image.

In this article you will find five more common ways to reduce the ache of low self-esteem and poor self-confidence involve intense attention to food, work, sex, sports and shopping. Like all addictions, they help to sidetrack from but do not resolve the fundamental problem and so one is still weighed down by feelings that will repeatedly require greater efforts from which to hide.

Escape no 1: Over-Eating

Fascination with food is habitually a common escape from feelings of un-worthiness. Eating can provide both as a diversion and a way to make ourselves feel better for the time being. We often seek the “emotional connection” from food that we are lacking in close, intimate relationships. Often, food is associated in our minds to joyful times with family or friends. Perhaps we experienced delicious food as rewards from our parents or authority figures for academic or sports accomplishments. For many, food has become identical with love, affection and acceptance. And so in times of stress, fear or isolation, many turn to foodstuff to fill an empty space that only love and self fulfillment can satisfy.

Habitual overeating also causes in being out of shape, overweight. Then these people generally look unattractive in the model of Western or you can say modern-day culture. The more one eats as a alternative for missing love and intimacy with others, the more overweight he or she is likely to become. This also reinforces the feeling that the heavier the person, the less he fits in and then the lower his self-esteem and self-confidence crash down. If the feeling of loneliness is deeper and not fitting in that result then he is likely to try to find comfort in food particularly the high fat, high carbohydrate, high comfort variety. A vicious cycle is thus set in motion ensuring more weight gain which ultimately results in lower self-esteem.

Escape no 2: Workaholism

In our society, work is usually an acceptable means of diverting and distorting our attention. By doing hard work, we try to busy ourselves to the extent that we lack the free time needed to engage in our sorrows. Those who work extremely are often too tired to worry about a missing public or social life or the hunt of fun pastimes that they sometimes believe they do not deserve to experience. Work provides rewards such as money, appreciation, and a feeling of achievement, all of which help to compensate for feelings of disappointment in other areas of life.

A commitment to work is not bad. In fact, it is quite good as just one part to a well-balanced life. However, when pursued to overload, it doesn’t allow for the honoring of other equally important essentials such as a dedication to family, friends, recreation, fun, personal and spiritual growth, etc. Too much fascination with work can badly affect health, missed opportunities and relationships for other equally valuable pursuits.

Moreover, when work is undertaken from the viewpoint that one is ‘not good enough’ in one or more aspects of their being, it can’t be fully enjoyed. Feelings of low self confidence and little self-esteem reduce one’s energy by consuming attention that could have been spent more productively in the joyful pursuit of one’s goals, rather than as a disruption from constant pessimistic self talk.

Escape no 3: Sex

Too much fascination with sex outside of a healthy and loving relationship can similarly become a means of distraction to take the focus away from self-esteem as well as self-confidence issues. Whether it’s Internet porn sites, strip clubs, or the want for recurrent casual sexual encounters, all serve as an effort to frozen the pain of loneliness. Paradoxically, the greater the passion to connect with others through pointless sexual experiences, the greater one’s sense of separation and loneliness will likely become.

Escape no: 4 Sports and Other Physical Outlets

Some people work out or do different kind of sports just to overcome feelings of loneliness, depression, boredom, or lacking self-worth. Some pump iron, play cricket, football or work out at the gym while others find their own exclusive way to redirect their focus through exercise, hobbies, or sports. Perhaps most of the people would dispute that such a distraction is a healthy way to channel energy into an activity that contributes to good physical health. However, like any obsession, when taken to the excessive for the purpose of diverting mind from issues in need of resolution, it can become detrimental means of avoiding areas in severe need of attention.

Escape no 5: Shopping

Shopping is common obsession to find balance for a low self-image. While some find momentary relief  in making themselves feel more attractive by purchasing the stylish clothes, shoes, accessories , cars, jewelries and expensive toys if their budget allows and sometimes times even if it does not! Obsessive shoppers find that the ease and comfort they hunt for in objects is typically short lived. They often deceive themselves into thinking that next new clothes, sport shoe, outfit or perfume purchase will make the difference they seek in having them feel better about themselves. Sadly, it never does. However, all too often such unnecessary spending sprees send the shopaholic deeper into debt. This leads to reinforcement or worsens the failure definition they already have and continues to weaken their self-esteem and confidence level.

There are innumerable other addictions that people try to find comfort in an effort to find meaning in life when their own sense of worth is lacking. Whether it is uncontrollable gambling, studying, clean mess in the yard, decorating the house, following religion, meditation and whatever other distraction they find attractive. Those who lack inner tranquility will never find it externally with a focus that seeks to cover up feelings of being unworthy or unlovable.

Finding creative solutions

For the most inspired solutions you need to get your brain looking in new directions. One of the most efficient ways to do this is with a list of words, mainly adjectives, to generate "what if?" scenarios. The course of action starts with the query, "what if it was..." and then you put in a word from the list. 

Let me explain the procedure with some example.

Suppose you have is an unpleasant co-worker and you aren't sure how to deal with him.  So you ask about the problem, "What if it was..." and insert from the list "less significant." How could you make the problem less significant? Spend less time with that person? 

"What if it was...  cool?" makes you wonder if being annoying yourself might keep the other person away from you. "Closer" makes you wonder if this person might be nicer to you if they knew you better. You continue to pick up a word from the list and work with each word a bit to get new perspective, which you can look at more critically, systematically and logically later.

Now take another example.  Suppose your house is too crowded because you're running your business from it. You ask, "What if it was..." and insert from the word list, "smaller." Your house is already too small, but could the business be smaller? The word "separated" might give you the idea to keep the business in just one part of the house.

Since most words on the list won't help, you can go through the inappropriate ones rapidly. But don't robotically dismiss them without a few seconds contemplation. "What if it was hopeless?" may seem like a futile question, or it may make you recognize that you just can't keep the business in the house any longer. Moving into a rented office might be the most lucrative of your creative solutions.

The Creative Solutions Word List

Create your own list of words. You'll want to use adjectives, descriptive phrases, and any words that can change your point of view. 

This is a short list which you may find helpful to get you started:

What if it was... newer, boring, casual, farther away, closer, easier, more difficult, sooner, later, higher, short, black, certain, hopeless, subtracted from, fat, rich, cheaper, common, divided, more interesting, extravagant, larger, smaller, subtle, or fun?

Just as with most problem solving techniques, it's important to allow the thoughts and ideas to run without judging them in the beginning. You don't want to suffocate the creative process. Take notes, and then evaluate your ideas when you feel that you have a page full of creative solutions.